Ritika Ruminates

Image Source - Medium Recently, Sandeep Reddy Vanga, director of the 'Animal,' gave a statement that if one can't slap, kiss or use cuss words towards their partner whenever one wants to, it is not love, that is he "doesn't see emotions there." It is uncertain whether it was his personal beliefs or he said it for negative publicity, but going by his past movies, I'd say he really means it. This brings us to the question - is love supposed to be unconditional? Does there not exist boundaries in love, especially for people with a mindset similar to this director? I don't believe that love can be unconditional, surely not between friends or a couple. Some say a mother's love for her child is unconditional, maybe. But don't these mothers (let us include fathers too) expect respectful behaviour from their kids once they are old enough to understand mannerisms? Respect is the foundation of love of any kind. If you don't respect them, you can'...

 This post won't be a blogpost but a open letter that I wrote for fictional characters Ram and Sita Mahalaxmi/Princess Noorjahan from movie 'Sita Ramam'. Image source- The Hindu Dear Ram and Sita Mahalaxmi, You both showed us what love seems like. Yes, I don't believe that love happens without even meeting the person (from Ram's POV), but maybe, there can be a few exceptional cases. Ram falling in love with Sitamahalaxmi due to her letters, tells us how words can have an impact on one's life. Our choice of words can make a person loved (or atleast comfort them and make them feel heard and less lonely) or break someone's heart. Princess Noorjahan, who left her real identity behind and took up the role of Sita Mahalaxmi, thanks for showing that girls are not only behind money. You left comfort that the title of princess provided, to move in with Ram, a soldier who would be earning Rs600 a month. You both defied the stereotypes associated with genders being in ...

Image source- YouTube I had recently came across a video by bestseller author Ravinder Singh where he spoke about reducing the age to 16 for youth. To watch that video, click  here . Do watch the video before reading the blogpost, as to understand the references. I do agree with what he has said in his video. Though I have some additions of my own too on that perspective. Often, when teenagers (13-19, though gonna focus only on 14-17 here in this blogpost) enter into relationships, which is getting a lot common this days, they do indulge in romance (even if its not anything sexual). But those who do, and it comes in light to any of the families, be it only about relationship or something more, most often, their phones are taken away and they are made to split up without choice of their own. This also causes defamation to girl, either by her family themselves or the society, cause the respect of family lies with her🙂 (boys have no role in upholding family respect, it se...

Image source- Al Jazeera Image Source-YouTube/Brut     With the Centre saying Delhi High Court that a marriage is between biological man and biological woman,  it raises yet another question- why cannot gay and lesbian couples marry? Back in February of probably this year, Centre, seeking dismissal of petition of legalization of homosexual marriages, argued that a marriage in India necessarily depends upon 'age-old customs, rituals, practices, cultural ethos and societal values' and that living together as partners and having a sexual relationship by same-sex individuals is "not comparable" with the "Indian family unit concept" of  a husband, wife and children. Well, when it comes to age old traditions of India,  here  is a video by Dr.Tanaya Narendra (aka DrCuterus) about the progressive culture of ancient India when it came to homosexuality and other things. India had been very progressive about homosexuality before Britishers colonised India and passed S...

Image source- Hindustan Times After recently finishing watching the 4th (and the last) season of Little Things, it makes all the sense why Gen Z is idolizing Dhruv Vats and Kavya Kulkarni as a couple. Little Things is a series, spanning over 4 seasons, about a modern day couple Dhruv and Kavya who are navigating their lives as individuals and also their relationship. The beauty of this series is that it depicts the small yet beautiful things of a relationship, away from grand and cliche bollywood love stories. And making live-in relationships more acceptable in Indian society, especially among the Gen Z. A couple that had had their own episodes of live-in as well as long distance and yet sticking together happily, they give major couple goals. They make even the smallest and little of the things look cute, caring and romantic.  They have depicted  modern-day relationships  very rightly and in a healthy way. Like what relationships are supposed to be in founda...

After  Karnataka's health minister Dr.K Sudhakar's comment  on woman not wanting to get married and not wanting to have kids, much in a judgemental and shaming way, this raises another question- why do we feel it's valid to interfere in woman's personal choices about marriage and kids, like we own their bodies?  It's okay if one wishes to get married at some point and wish to have kids. But it's also okay to - not wish to get married and not have kids or get married and not have kids or not get married and have kids.  As long as the individual consents to it, is willing to take the risks associated and responsibilities that come with marriage and kids, and are informed about the pros and cons of each choice. It's not only the western influence because of which woman wishes to not get married and not have kids. Now a days, even many men do not ever wish to get married or have kids. And as long as you want it, are informed about the pros and cons and are will...

Image source- floweraura.com After  Punjab and Haryana High Court dismissed petition by runaway couple for protection stating live-in is morally and socially unacceptable , the question comes up - even though live-in relationships is legal in India, why is it looked down upon morally and socially in society?  With new era, comes new trends. How romantic relationships works, also changes. Earlier it was male dominance in the relationship, but now there is gender equality in  modern-day relationships . The institution of marriage which was very much patriarchal earlier is now slowly changing into feminist among open-minded modern couples. Live-in is a growing relationship choice among modern couples. Looked at as trial for marriage to test the compatibility under the same roof or just wanting to stay together in serious relationship. Most couples do wish to get married after live-in relationship and look at live-in as compatibility test, because living together lets you kno...

Image source- GQ India Today, many teenagers and young adults prefer not to get married in the future, more common among girls. This includes me as well. Be it patriarchy, inequality, failing relationships, media's portrayal of an irrealistic 'perfect' relationship, rising divorce cases, etc. Or if they decide to get married, they prefer to choose their spouse themselves rather than depending much on arranged marriage system and neighbourhood Seema aunties. Though media does depict impossibly 'perfect' relationship, many relationship coaches have come up too and ideal couples who have had (and still having) a successful relationship/marriage and has been giving advice and tips.  Some novels do give us lessons on ideal relationships which can be followed in real life. This also sets our standards up so that we do not settle for anything less than we deserve. Some basic expectations, some advises and some tips to make a relationship work. But often, we would be teased...

Image source- Wikipedia Homophobia Biphobia Transphobia And don't know what all phobias are against people belonging to LGBTQ+ community Homophobia is hate and prejudice against homosexuals. Gays and lesbians. Though we are in 2020 now, part of our society, worldwide, is still stuck on homophobia. Why is it hard for some to accept a same-sex couple who are in that relationship with mutual consent? When it comes to pro-creation, yes, I know that they cannot have a kid of their own (atleast as of now, if technology develops in future, who knows they might be able to?). But parenthood is not everyone's choice. Also if that couple mutually wants kid(s), they can rather adopt a child or way that works for both of them. Though many countries are opening about it, decriminalizing it, and accepting homosexuality, many are still not. Parents disown their homosexual kids (you have failed here as a parent tbh), honour killings take place (even worse), the individual or couple ...

With all this Tanishq ad controversy over inter-faith marriage and 'love jihad', here is my opinions on inter-faith marriages, based on actual facts and practical solutions to make these relationships work too. I know I'm too late (chuck it, procrastination!🤦‍♀️) but let's start anyway. Inter-faith marriages has been and still is taboo in India and not widely unaccepted. Be it on the grounds of religion, caste or language differences (and maybe even nationality altogether!). People do not accept inter-faith marriages as it is 'not our blood', 'blood will get mixed', 'our clan will be polluted' etc. Oh wait, how can I forget the iconic cliché dialogue of parents if their kid proposes for a inter-faith marriage- "log kya kahenge?". Unfortunately, for majority Indian parents (not every parents, but accepting parents are really less in India), what society would say is more important than their child's happiness. ''What if our ...

Image source- Google What comes with adolescent age is many hormonal changes and so do crushes, infatuations, love and sexual urges. The first crush in school, high school (11th and 12th) or college. The crush which will stay in memories lifelong.  Teenage relationships and crushes are very common. By some survey, it is said that 60%+ people, by the age of 16, have met people whom they gonna marry in future. I don't exactly remember the source of it, so not sure how reliable this information is. Keeping this aside, it is sure that majority people have had crush and maybe even atleast one relationship till they are in 12th standard. Especially if you live in big towns or metropolitan cities, you will be used to watching couples in your school‌, high school and college. The famously tagged nibba- nibbis, some with too much of PDA (please get a room if you both are 18+💁🙄). But they are not to be blamed, its all hormones playing with minds and hearts. Attractions, infatua...

Image source- IG account writer_sahab I came across this post on Instagram by IG account named writer_sahab and this holds so true. Public Display of Affection (PDA) is very much looked at as a rude thing to do in India (and many other orthodox countries), don't know why. People look at it as its disgusting.  In our country, if any couple, married or unmarried, does PDA, they are looked at with disgusted looks by the public around, like they would be beaten up any moment. LGBT+ couple is far away from getting into PDA in India when even straight couples are looked at with disgusted looks if they get into PDA. There have been so many incidents where the couple were beaten up just because they got themselves involved in PDA. Most known one is the Kolkata metro case where a young couple were badly beaten up by elders just because they hugged or so in the metro. Like seriously!? What's the need to harm someone this bad only because they showed affection for each other i...