Teenage relationships

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What comes with adolescent age is many hormonal changes and so do crushes, infatuations, love and sexual urges.

The first crush in school, high school (11th and 12th) or college. The crush which will stay in memories lifelong. 

Teenage relationships and crushes are very common. By some survey, it is said that 60%+ people, by the age of 16, have met people whom they gonna marry in future. I don't exactly remember the source of it, so not sure how reliable this information is. Keeping this aside, it is sure that majority people have had crush and maybe even atleast one relationship till they are in 12th standard. Especially if you live in big towns or metropolitan cities, you will be used to watching couples in your school‌, high school and college. The famously tagged nibba- nibbis, some with too much of PDA (please get a room if you both are 18+💁🙄). But they are not to be blamed, its all hormones playing with minds and hearts. Attractions, infatuations, crush, love and sexual urges are very common from this age, say from when you are 14 (possibly in 8th standard/grade). 

Agreed that teenage lovers, the nibba-nibbis, are immature, especially if you are in middle school. People make memes about nibba nibbis (they are hilarious, I must admit😂) but here's the thing, if you would be dating someone in your teenage years, you would dream of marrying that person and not someone else. Add to that, the Bollywood movies which shows irrealistic college love stories and Hollywood teenage and young adult films (they are still better than Bollywood college love stories, except Chhichore). Prom nights with dates, Disney princess movies and whatnot taking you into dreamland of love, crush, relationships and knight in shining armour. I am not a fan of Disney princess movies but yes, even I do like Hollywood teenage and young adult movies. 

Teenagers cannot be blamed for getting into relationships. Its the common hormonal changes. I know that most of the teenage relationships end up in breakup and then modern Devdas mode turns on, but few do end up in successful happy relationships/ marriages. Congratulations to those couples. 

But yes, even teenagers should keep some things in minds while dating. If you are in 5th-9th std, you will have a lot of crushes possibly and relationship might not last more than 2 weeks. To middle school kids, to be honest, middle school is still very young as your mind is still developing and if in case it ends up in breakup, you will not be able to cope up with it easily compared to those in high school or college.  

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For parents

Let your child date, especially if they are in 10th standard or above. They are that mature enough now. They can handle it themselves. Just tell them the precautions they need to take while dating, so that they do not get emotionally, mentally and physically used. Tell them about right kind of relationships and to not tolerate toxic relationships and to get out of toxic relationships. Be open so that if they have any relationship issues, they might come to take your help. Do not tease them if they reveal about crush or their relationship. A little bit with the crush's or girlfriend's/boyfriend's name is ok. If they are 16+, tell them about precautions to take, like- safe sex (after 18 only), contraceptives, abortion, STDs and pregnancy, sexuality and sexual preferences, body shaming (online or offline), and all related topics, so that kid does not acquire all this from wrong sources like Bollywood (sexist scenes in movies and item songs) and many other unreliable websites. 

When your teenage kid reveals to you about their relationship, get to know their choice rather than completely calling it off and blackmailing them to end their relationship. I have seen such examples where a couple bresks apart due to manipulative and blackmailing parents. Please do not do any such similar things to end their relationships or crushes. Also do not ask them or emotionally blackmail them to end their relationship due to religious, caste (if Indian) and economic differences. It is their responsibility to sort these differences out and make the relationship work, not yours. Do not go by "log kya kahenge" cause whatever they or you do, people gonna speak and judge anyway. Is opinion of people more important than your child's happiness? You will push your child away by trying to break their relationship (at any age) and make them suffer emotionally too. They will get emotionally, mentally and maybe even physically distant from you.

 Get to know your kid's choice(s) without any pre-judgements, invite them home, talk to them, etc. If the guy/ girl is right - respectful, accepting your child the way he/she is, loving, caring, supporting, loyal, understanding, well-mannered, open minded, and in this era, a true feminist, then great. Instill this value in your child too so that their partner is not emotionally and mentally used. If you don't feel the guy/girl right, tell your child calmly what you think, do not force your opinion. If their relationship works out and turns into happy marriage (if they wanna marry), then great. If it dont, your child will learn some lessons and might be able to take better decisions later. Its a win-win situation- if works out the  great, if don't your child might be able to make better decisions later related to love life and romantic relationships. 

For teenagers

Do not make relationships the only aim of your teenage life. Dating feels special, but focus on your dreams as well and do not forget your friends if you get into dating scenes in teenage and young adult age. You have your own life apart from relationships and dating- dreams, personality development, your 'me time', friendship, family, social life. Do not feel down or depressed if crush rejects your proposal, respect their decision. If you reject someone's proposal, give them valid reason why you did it in respectful way. If you are looking for serious relationship, I would suggest try it only after 10th standard or so. You are a little mature that you were in middle school, though no guarantee it surely gonna work out. If someone rejects you or you are not getting into any relationship, please do not let it affect your self-esteem. Do not submit to peer pressure. Right person will come in your life when it have to, do not rush into relationships. Not being into relationships does not define your self worth in any way.

 Date and get into relationship with someone who is respectful, accepting you the way you are, loving, caring, supporting, loyal, understanding, well-mannered, open minded, and in this era, a true feminist (believes in true equality and not some fake feminist or mysogynist or misandrist or hatred towards LGBTQ+). You must also instill this qualities in you for lifelong and not just teenage. If the person do not have this basic qualities mentioned above, it is a toxic relationship ( Signs of toxic and unhealthy romantic relationship) and better part ways with such people. 

Image source- BeerBiceps

  

Oh wish, in this National Educational Policy 2020, farewell in 10th and 12th could have been replaced by prom evenings or inclusion of proms in junior and degree college cultural festivals 😂💁😍. Experience of Western schools and Hollywood proms will come true for many teenagers😂✌️. Though I do not see that coming in next 20 years or even more, thanks to orthodox mentality of India and Indian parents.Knock knock, education ministers of India, can this reform be made (with many other related to education of course)?😂