Ritika Ruminates

Image Source- Days for Girls International The suicide of a 14-year-old girl from Mumbai due to stress caused by first periods has made headlines in the news. As per reports, the girl was under stress and misinformation regarding the menstrual cycle. The drastic step has once again brought need of period and mental health education into the spotlight. Though her step was drastic, her fear and stress regarding periods have been shared by all the women and girls who experience period for first time. When I got my period for the first time, like many other girls, I thought that it was the last day of my life. Periods, even now, remains a taboo in the Indian society, especially in villages and lower-tier cities. Many girls get to know what periods are when they experience it for the first time. There is no prior knowledge of periods before the first cycle begins. Girls are instructed to not talk about periods with male members of the family and guy friends as well. This can lead to misinfo...

Image source- Hindustan Times   I recently watched the movie Maja Ma on Amazon Prime Video. A movie about how the lead's (Madhuri Dixit) smoothly going life gets interrupted by her secret getting out in public, affecting her's and her family's life. The caste includes Madhuri Dixit, Gajraj Rao, Ritwik Bhowmik, Barkha Singh, and Sheeba Chaddha among many others. This review contains some spoilers. So you can watch a movie and come back to this blog post 😀. Phobia against homosexuality still very much exists in our society, be it within India or western countries. This is even more in small towns or rural areas of India, where knowledge is not enough and incorrect, and so prejudice and shame around homosexuality is more. The myth and phobia against homosexuality are often based on incorrect and incomplete information we receive about homosexuality (and everything in the LGBTQIA+ community). I have written about it in my other blog post, which you can read here . ...

Image source - India Today  With what recently took place in Iran- beating a woman named Mahsa Amini to death for "inappropriately wearing the hijab", it yet again brings the grave issue of inability to practice basic freedoms and the morality police into picture. This incident was followed by the President of Iran, Ebrahim Raisi refusing to get interviewed (outside Iran) at the last minute because the journalist/interviewer declined his condition for her wearing a hijab/headscraf, which his aide described as "matter of respect" and as it was the holy month of Muharram and Safar.  This enforces the morality police that people often impose on others, women often being the primary victims. "Dress like this..", "Sit like this..." and "Don't laugh loud.." is xxxjust some of the examples of moral policing women face in daily life. Unlike Mahsa's case, morality police may not take someone's life, but it is often subtle...

Image source - IG account of girl_respect_  A little ago, Ranveer Singh had shared nude pics on his Instagram, which very soon created a stir on social media. People on social media had 2 polar views- while some supported him, some went out of proportion to even file a case for this. We do not know whether Ranveer posted the nude pics to attract controversy or not, someone who is already a meme material for his unconventional clothing. Keeping the intention of creating controversy or not, this has surfaced already existing double standards when it comes to gender. Though he received support by people, which I didn't really bothered about, it exposes the hypocrisy when a girl or a woman posts half-nude or "too revealing" photos. When a women posts photos or is physically at a place like beach, in bikini or similar clothing, she is subjected to slut-shaming comments, creepy/judgemental looks, unasked advices to get changed into "more appropriate" clothing, to even...

Image source- Indian People Times In past few years, period leave has became an important point of discussions. While many people agree on its need in educational institutions and workplaces, and any other institutions/organizations, government or private, it's unfortunate that there are still many who do not agree to it, and it not being implemented nationwide (and even worldwide). With periods being very painful on average of 4-5 days of the month (differs in every menstruator), rest of a day or two is really needed. From period flow, cramps, headaches, bloating to mood swings, stains and back pain, it is surely a torturous pain for 4-5 days on a monthly basis. Why do we need period leaves? That too hopefully paid for women in workforce.  Rest from pain - Going through so much pain but still working will affect her/their productivity for the day. Rather than pushing the body, can give body a rest for a day or 2, which can save her energy and she will be able to be mor...

Image source- Healthline Period stains are something that are still stigmatized. Girls and women who bleed are excluded already (especially in small towns and rural areas), and when they get a period stain, people look at her and at the stain with disgust or laugh it away. Irony I find is that in a action scene where there would be quite a representation of human blood with all the action, we just watch the scene with interest. But when it comes to menstrual blood stains that a female gets on her clothes (or even blood in sanitary napkins ad), we get disgusted.  Instagram handle named Feminist has uploaded a social experiment reel where a teenager got her pants stained and people just walked away looking at it, not bothering to let her know or give her help until a girl in the ends does it by giving sweatshirt to tie around the waist. Though this was most probably staged, but this is reality of a lot of girls.  There was also this video long time ago where boys ar...

Image source: New Indian Express Honour killings. One of the worst crimes that have been taking place in our society. Honour killing is killing of a relative, especially a girl or woman, who is perceived to have brought dishonour on the family More often than not, honour killings kill women more than men (men in case one's daughter married a boy from 'lower' caste) and it mostly happens in the cases of inter-caste or inter-religious marriage, or when girls/women do not obey the strictest of rules laid down for them by the patriarchal society. To logically think over it, there is no honour in honour killings. You are murdering someone, over stupidest of things. Caste, religion or patriarchal rules set up (for females) matters more than someone's life🙂. When it comes to inter-caste marriages (or even inter-religious), often the accused is girl's family. Even more so when the boy is from 'lower' castes. But mostly do not have an issue if their girl...

Image source- dreamstime.com I often come across wedding videos, photos and reel where the bride and groom meet before the wedding ceremony, having fun or of posts where they say that the couple has decided to let go of certain rituals, like kanyadaan. Or changing some things like putting vermilion on men. Though the posts and reels are sweet, the comments underneath are often disheartening. Some of the comments are like -   "why don't they just have a court marriage?" "Seems like getting married only for Instagram" "Why can't they follow all the rituals when they plan to have a traditional wedding ceremony?" This cultural shifts aren't just only in traditional weddings of any religion, but even outside the religion and weddings. Like acceptance of LGBTQIA+ community and live-in relationships, even if its slow and in tier-1 cities as of now. The thing is- change is inevitable. And this inevitable changes also affects culture, be it ...

Image source- YouTube I had recently came across a video by bestseller author Ravinder Singh where he spoke about reducing the age to 16 for youth. To watch that video, click  here . Do watch the video before reading the blogpost, as to understand the references. I do agree with what he has said in his video. Though I have some additions of my own too on that perspective. Often, when teenagers (13-19, though gonna focus only on 14-17 here in this blogpost) enter into relationships, which is getting a lot common this days, they do indulge in romance (even if its not anything sexual). But those who do, and it comes in light to any of the families, be it only about relationship or something more, most often, their phones are taken away and they are made to split up without choice of their own. This also causes defamation to girl, either by her family themselves or the society, cause the respect of family lies with her🙂 (boys have no role in upholding family respect, it se...

Image source- Navbharat Times A recent case has came up from DPS Faridabad where a teenager boy has committed suicide because he was sexually assaulted by a gang of his gang from his school, facing homophobia and ableism. His mother, who is teacher in same school (Delhi Public School) as him, have told that she had complained about the assault case to school authorities multiple times but no action was taken. They just said that some of those boys have left the school, and rest do not agree to have assaulted her son (if they actually did it, which molestor would agree to have done it anyways?). A lot of rape cases to males aren't even registered and aren't taken seriously.  Why is rape or any sexual assault on males not taken seriously? The answer lies in patriarchy and toxic masculinity, that men can never get raped. That males aren't so "weak" to have gone through it. This only causes worsening scenario for innocent men who got sexually assaulted and the prepetr...

Image Source- Prega News Recently, there has been an video advertisement of Prega News going around, giving the message that the women can handle both her kid and her career at the same time. To watch that advertisement (in Hindi), click  here . Though it is true for many women out there, it is also somewhere disregarding the choice of those who do not wish to have kids or those who aren't able to manage both her kid and her career. The ad seemed to be gloryfying motherhood and guilt tripping those who don't want to go down that path for whatever reason. Ofcourse motherhood can be great, but only when you want it. If you do not want to become a mother for some time or never ever wanna become one, or if you are not sure if you would be able to manage your child and professional life together, that's just as fine. One need to be very sure if they want to become a parent or not. And especially when it comes to biological child, then there is whole another pregnancy...

 Congress MLA Ramesh Kumar had passed a disturbing and sick statement- 'if rapes are inevitable, lie down and enjoy'. How low can a person even get? Reducing rape to something like it is no big deal. There is really no words for it. These kind of politicians are the one who are criminals, support rapists and reason for rape culture in India. How people even happen to elect such people. I know it is an exaggeration, but if he ever had a daughter of his own, he wouldn't mind to even rape his own daughter. That's how sick and disturbing his statement is. Does he even know the mental trauma a victim/survivor can go through after any degree of sexual assault, other than the physical harm caused. Experiencing (or even witnessing) a traumatic event can lead to Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), which often lasts years or lifetime. To know more about PTSD, it causes and how it affects a person, click  here. Ministers like this should never be brought into power. They think ...

Image source- Times Of India Union Cabinet has decided to raise the legal marriageable age of women from 18 to 21 , but would it be much beneficial to the women at the first place? Though the intention may be good to protect girls from child marriage and forcefully becoming a mother in her early or late teenage, in my opinion and ground realities, this wouldn't change the scenario much. Maybe some girls can get to study till her graduation (considering she is not any year behind) if her family is supportive. She can have her lifelong responsibility delayed by a few years. But unfortunately, child marriages still exist. Women are still forced into getting married below 18 and become mothers at quite a young age, where she may not be able to take responsibilities of kid(s). In some places, girls are even sold to groom's family as a bride. And not just in India, but some parts of the world too. And there is no guarantee her family will let her study till graduation because of fear...

After how the police and Karnataka government cancelled Munawar Faruqui's show in Bangalore, it raises the question- is it right to suppress the show over something they 'might' have said? Or what it seems like, religion of the artist? The same set was performed by Munawar thrice before in Bangalore city, so why it was now cancelled?  Surely, if someone (any artist or ANY other person) is passing negative or shaming comments against any person, profession, religion, gender, caste, race, LGBTQIA+ community, etc, they must be criticised. And if it gets too toxic, it's ok if they are taken out of power or their work is stopped. No, I am not fan of Munawar. I haven't even seen any of his videos. But people are more aware now. If someone passes any toxic or shaming comment, they will be criticized or even trolled.  But when they didn't cancelled his show thrice before in the same city, what happened this before?  Before cancelling someone's show or suppressing th...

Image source- Al Jazeera Image Source-YouTube/Brut     With the Centre saying Delhi High Court that a marriage is between biological man and biological woman,  it raises yet another question- why cannot gay and lesbian couples marry? Back in February of probably this year, Centre, seeking dismissal of petition of legalization of homosexual marriages, argued that a marriage in India necessarily depends upon 'age-old customs, rituals, practices, cultural ethos and societal values' and that living together as partners and having a sexual relationship by same-sex individuals is "not comparable" with the "Indian family unit concept" of  a husband, wife and children. Well, when it comes to age old traditions of India,  here  is a video by Dr.Tanaya Narendra (aka DrCuterus) about the progressive culture of ancient India when it came to homosexuality and other things. India had been very progressive about homosexuality before Britishers colonised India and passed S...

After  Karnataka's health minister Dr.K Sudhakar's comment  on woman not wanting to get married and not wanting to have kids, much in a judgemental and shaming way, this raises another question- why do we feel it's valid to interfere in woman's personal choices about marriage and kids, like we own their bodies?  It's okay if one wishes to get married at some point and wish to have kids. But it's also okay to - not wish to get married and not have kids or get married and not have kids or not get married and have kids.  As long as the individual consents to it, is willing to take the risks associated and responsibilities that come with marriage and kids, and are informed about the pros and cons of each choice. It's not only the western influence because of which woman wishes to not get married and not have kids. Now a days, even many men do not ever wish to get married or have kids. And as long as you want it, are informed about the pros and cons and are will...

Image source- SheThePeople After women being asked (a.k.a pressurize, forced or manipulated) to marry, the big another pretty unrealistic expectation of society is for women to drastically change themselves into some other woman altogether. Those distant relatives whose face you see once in three years, neighbors and the society, and sometimes even parents and in-laws start acting like they own the woman and have every right to pass judgments on her, and give advice she never asked for in the first place. But what is up with asking women to change so drastically after marriage? And why aren’t men expected to change either after getting married? A few changes here and there are expected and understandable after the big step in life. But asking or expecting a woman to change altogether after marriage is something very unrealistic and toxic, which might even end up causing mental health issues in the woman and a bruised ego to the society if she denies to follow. Not just the women who ar...

Image Source- VideoHive Recently,  UP Women Commission member have stated that girls using phone have lead to rapes . What more shocking is that this statement comes from a woman herself. Along with blaming girls for using phones, she has even blamed 'carelessness' of mothers for increase in rape cases. Question that arises is- aren't even babies to school girls to old age women who don't use phones, have been victims of rape? What the phones have to do with rapes? Yes, online sexual harrassments (in forms of morphed pics, sending non consenual pics of genitals, etc) do happen due to phone and social media. But if both boys and girls are taught to be respectful of others and their consent and be precautions on social media, then it would be reduced a lot.  About her eloping statement, not everyone elopes. And some do due to controlling and toxic parents who refuses to accept their relationship due to societal standards, caste and religious differences. Checking kid'...

India is obsessed with babies (1.3 billion population totally proves it). You would find random people giving married couple unasked advice to have babies, even if the couple is just 1 month old. From the vegetable vendor to the security guard to distant relatives & judgemental neighbours who have no life of their own, whose adult kids are themselves struggling with parenting their newborns (or their adult kids have moved out due to their frustration with parents pestering about having kids). But whats the obsession with asking (or pressurizing, manipulating etc) others to have babies? Why are women treated as a baby making machines? What's with the unasked advice to have kids? If anyone even dares to ask the person back why they need to have a kid (cause you can't talk back to elders, credit to Indian 'sanskaar'), there would be answers, some even comical. "They will look after you when you will get old" . Umm, what's the guarantee they would? Childre...

Image source- Manubhai Jewellers Recently, I came across a Instagram story by  Saadhana KM  about toe rings, and when I went through her profile, I found various posts and stories explaining how sexist the culture and expectations are. And I couldn't agree enough to how sexist and controlling the practice of expecting women to wear several accessories and sacred threads all her life is.  This was the story- Image source- Saadhana KM In Hindu rituals, a woman has to wear five signs of marital status – the Mangalsutra, toe rings, Kumkum, bangles and a nose ring. Of these five, Mangalsutra is the most important. In India, Hindu married women wear it as an auspicious thread of goodwill and love. The  Hindu culture also believes that a woman wearing a Mangalsutra, should never part with it until her husband’s death. And if the thread of the Mangalsutra breaks for some reason, it is considered to be a bad omen. Worn as a symbol of marital status, it...