What's up with sexist expectations in women wearing marital ornaments?

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Image source- Manubhai Jewellers

Recently, I came across a Instagram story by Saadhana KM about toe rings, and when I went through her profile, I found various posts and stories explaining how sexist the culture and expectations are. And I couldn't agree enough to how sexist and controlling the practice of expecting women to wear several accessories and sacred threads all her life is. 

This was the story-
Image source- Saadhana KM

In Hindu rituals, a woman has to wear five signs of marital status – the Mangalsutra, toe rings, Kumkum, bangles and a nose ring. Of these five, Mangalsutra is the most important. In India, Hindu married women wear it as an auspicious thread of goodwill and love. The Hindu culture also believes that a woman wearing a Mangalsutra, should never part with it until her husband’s death. And if the thread of the Mangalsutra breaks for some reason, it is considered to be a bad omen.

Worn as a symbol of marital status, it is a promise made by the husband to the wife of staying together forever. It also symbolizes the union of two souls (husband and wife), and protects them from all the evil in the world. Hence, to safeguard her married life and also the life of her husband, a Hindu married woman has to wear Mangalsutra.

But why is only women expected to wear mangalsutra and all the other accessories while men move around freely? Why aren't men expected to wear similar necklace (and other accessories), to protect them both from all the evils in the world and symbolize the union of two souls? Shall he also mot wear mangalsutra to safeguard life of his wife? Why only men are seen as protectors, while in today times, women are just as capable to protect themselves and their husbands? And so, women can tie the mangalsutra around groom's neck and protect him just as well. Men are just expected to wear engagement ring, while women are expected to wear all that along with engagement ring, all her life.

The 3 knots of the mangalsutra tied to woman by their husbands during Hindi wedding ritual symbolise 3 things- Obedience towards the husband, commitment to his parents and respect to God. If this thing about knots is true, then why men are not expected to wear similar mangalsutra? Doesn't he have duty/commitment towards her parents to take care of them? Shall he not respect God? And be obedient towards wife and respect her? And this is my question- God forbid, if husband pass away and she is asked to not wear the mangalsutra anymore after his demise, does this mean she is free of the commitment towards his parents and free from any cultural obligation/expectation to respect God? 

With change in culture, many women wear western clothes and most of times, mangalsutra doesn't go well with it. And if she decides not to wear mangalsutra as it doesn't go well (or if she just don't want to), she is shamed by relatives and society if her husband is still alive.

In many families, it is mandatory for women to wear all that, then why is it not mandatory for men to wear all this either? To what extent do we tend to take the sexism and patriarchy to? And if a woman is just wearing out of love, she can wear it but shall not force it on other married women to wear it. Time is changing and many modern girls do not prefer wearing it all the time, maybe just in some religious or family functions. Previous generations (before millennials) would need to adjust with this fact for their mental peace and to avoid any shock.

There was this news of a man wearing mangalsutra at his wedding who shared his story with 'Humans Of Bombay' that he recieved mixed reactions from family and social media, and severe online trolling for that. If it doesn't affect people directly, why do they care to troll a person who was just trying to equally support his wife? I found it rather cute and supportive.

Image source- india.com

Lets not force or expect any woman to wear all the accessories unless she herself wants to and is happy wearing them, whenever and whichever she wants. Lets remove our patriarchal hypocrisy and sexism in weddings & marriages and lets not troll men who try to bring a change.


Information references- 

Hello, I am Ritika Jakhotiya, the blogger behind Ritika Ruminates. I am an English graduate and currently pursuing an M.A. in English. I love reading and writing. Ritika Ruminates (formerly 'Blogging With Ritz') is my personal blog site, where I write about things close to my heart (and mind) and dish out my thoughts on topics that concern me or inspire my creativity. These topics include books, cinema, feminism, social themes/taboos, and travel. Before you leave, please hit the follow button and subscribe to get notified about new blog posts and share the post with others. I also create content (as a reader) on my Instagram @thisisritika_j, where I share book reviews, relatable memes and reels.

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