Ritika Ruminates

Image Source- Prega News Recently, there has been an video advertisement of Prega News going around, giving the message that the women can handle both her kid and her career at the same time. To watch that advertisement (in Hindi), click  here . Though it is true for many women out there, it is also somewhere disregarding the choice of those who do not wish to have kids or those who aren't able to manage both her kid and her career. The ad seemed to be gloryfying motherhood and guilt tripping those who don't want to go down that path for whatever reason. Ofcourse motherhood can be great, but only when you want it. If you do not want to become a mother for some time or never ever wanna become one, or if you are not sure if you would be able to manage your child and professional life together, that's just as fine. One need to be very sure if they want to become a parent or not. And especially when it comes to biological child, then there is whole another pregnancy...

Every Indian have heard this lines- " Jab khudke bacchhe hoge tab pata chalega" "Good news kab?" "Woman is incomplete without marriage and children" Parenthood is now equated to being highest achievement in a person's life. From parents to distant relatives who are Eid ka chand, to  vegetable vendors and security guard, everyone starts asking you about the 'good news' once you are married. And when you are unmarried, you are prepared for parenthood from young adult age only. Great Indian mother taunts about " Agar tu ghar ka kaam nahi kar sakti toh baccho ko kaise sambhalegi", we are made to believe that parenthood is a mandatory task to be ticked off in the to-do list of life, more so in a girl's life.  And what if when a person or a couple doesn't want children? They are ridiculed, trolled, judged and socially isolated and are made as embarrassment for parents. Some women are even deserted by their families and have to go th...

Toxic parenting is hard to deal with. The pressure it creates on kid is really at a huge level. Dealing with toxic parenting is very hard.  I came across this post on Instagram by IG handle named  @tera._dost and have shared the post slides in the post (Not any paid promotion or any kind of that). I wouldn't be writing much today as those slides are enough.  Do not force things on them related to ANYTHING. Labelling someone isn't just right.  Your child is unique and the only one on this Earth. There will be similar people but no one exactly same to child, not exactly same as yours. Stop the cliché dialogue "Sharmaji ka beta/beti" or whosever child. We kids are not interested in being like them. Talk to them in composed way, have a conversation, make them realize their mistake and how can they correct it and not repeat it again. You can ground them for some time. When you scream, they look at your tone, not...

'Let me check your phone." "I wanna see your messages, social media, and your gallery." "Do not close and lock your door." "What privacy does a kid even needs?" "Update me everywhere you go or else I'll appoint some detective to look over you." "Do not make friends from people of opposite gender." 'No getting into any relationships and surely not in teenage or younger years." These are more often statement by parents. These statements and this kind of intrusive behaviour often leads to some mental and personality development issues in the kids. I'm gonna write this blog post from both a kid's feelings/ thoughts and psychological reasoning behind it. Intrusive or helicopter parenting often leads to kids not to understand healthy boundaries. They are not able to say no to someone. They don't know when to reveal something personal and when not to. They might not be able to say no and can land up...