Honour killings: No honour in it
Honour killings. One of the worst crimes that have been taking place in our society.
Honour killing is killing of a relative, especially a girl or woman, who is perceived to have brought dishonour on the family
More often than not, honour killings kill women more than men (men in case one's daughter married a boy from 'lower' caste) and it mostly happens in the cases of inter-caste or inter-religious marriage, or when girls/women do not obey the strictest of rules laid down for them by the patriarchal society.
To logically think over it, there is no honour in honour killings. You are murdering someone, over stupidest of things. Caste, religion or patriarchal rules set up (for females) matters more than someone's life🙂.
When it comes to inter-caste marriages (or even inter-religious), often the accused is girl's family. Even more so when the boy is from 'lower' castes. But mostly do not have an issue if their girl marries someone from 'higher' caste. Plain hypocrisy.
There have also been cases of murdering daughters when they do not follow rules set for them. Example can include them speaking to a boy, not following the dress code etc.
The classic example of showing honour killing (in India) is Marathi film named Sairat. For those who aren't Marathi viewers, the Hindi remake of the film named Dhadak can be watched, to see how it affects the life of loved ones of those who were murdered.
The patriarchal and caste system gets disturbed when a girl chooses to do otherwise, sometimes, even to the extent of killing her, her boyfriend/husband and maybe their child.
Its 2022 and a high time when we let go of such atrocities. Though there have been no recent case that came into notice of honour killing, but we can't wait either for such to happen. Caste system, patriarchy and all, which came along with Manusmriti (which is mysogynist to the core), all needs to be abandoned rather than killing people and abandoning somone so close to you.
A little out of context: If we want reservations to be removed totally or reduced a lot, we even need to start accepting inter-caste marriages. That would be true equality and a path to removal of caste system in coming 100 years.
Back to the the main topic, here's a imaginary situation- your daughter chooses to marry outside the caste, someone from 'lower' caste, rather than killing her and/or her boyfriend, get to the know about the boy and his family. Background check and if your daughter will be able to adjust in that family (though your daughter will be able to know the best after getting to know them). In present times, castes do not matter at all for generation Z people, as our generation do not believe in the atrocity (unless one is really brainwashed). It's the cultures that matters, if both would be able to adjust with each other's family culture. If that's not a problem, it shouldn't be problem for parents either. Still, if you are very much against it, get them married if background is all clear. It's better than girl running away and getting married. That will be more humiliation than getting her married to boy of her choice yourself. And you can just pretend you support it, so when nothing-to-do-in-life people come to poke you, when they see you aren't bothered, they will give up too and find another to gossip about. In worst case scenario, you can cut off the relationship. But killing is never an option. Love do not know any religion, caste or any other social hierarchy. And as love towards your daughter (and even sons), you should be able to let it go either as long as their choice is right and background is clear.
To people of all gender, castes and religion, be it within your caste/religion or outside, get to know about your boyfriend/girlfriend or potential spouse, their family (by meeting them and spending time with them), their culture, family background, etc. In modern relationships, castes really do not matter. When it comes to religion, its often the family culture that matters more than religion. As even within same religion, we see different cultures and lifestyles in families (or even within yours and your close relative's family). If you can adjust with their culture and their family and they can with yours (I do not mean 100%), and you think you will be treated with respect (especially for girls because its often women who move-in with boy's family), and all other practical aspects of life are similar, you can go ahead.
I had written a blogpost long back on inter-caste and inter-religious marriage and how you can navigate through it and possibly make them work. You can read that blogpost here. While there is another blogpost on stop casteism which you can give a read as well (both written in 2020).
To conclude it, we need to stop this heartbreaking practice of honour killing, to keep the fragile egos (which can be shaken by something as innocent as love and independent actions/opinions of women) of some people intact.
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Mast likha sahi me
ReplyDeleteThank you😊
DeleteHonour killing needs to be condemned. No two viws about it. It is the result of one's emotional development and social development. No body doing it has read Manusmrati. I am sure as an author you have also not read it. It only has place on self. This system of intercostal marriages can't be the future solution of reservation.rather it can add to one more category of beneficiaries.
ReplyDeleteBy Manusmriti, I meant that what was taught or said in Manusmriti has been continued over generations as a tradition, though our generation wouldn't have read it. Though your statement makes sense that it might add another beneficiary, but I choose to differ here. Inter-caste marriages can blur the line between various castes, and there will not be a hard and fast division between castes in the next generation (kids of those parents who had inter-caste marriages). That way the rigit lines can be blurred and casteism might reduce.
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