Live-in relationship: A growing relationship choice

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Image source- floweraura.com

After Punjab and Haryana High Court dismissed petition by runaway couple for protection stating live-in is morally and socially unacceptable, the question comes up - even though live-in relationships is legal in India, why is it looked down upon morally and socially in society? 

With new era, comes new trends. How romantic relationships works, also changes. Earlier it was male dominance in the relationship, but now there is gender equality in modern-day relationships. The institution of marriage which was very much patriarchal earlier is now slowly changing into feminist among open-minded modern couples.

Live-in is a growing relationship choice among modern couples. Looked at as trial for marriage to test the compatibility under the same roof or just wanting to stay together in serious relationship. Most couples do wish to get married after live-in relationship and look at live-in as compatibility test, because living together lets you know a lot about a person than just dating, as you are around that person for a long time.

But people say that it is not morally right. Why? Its similar to marriage minus the legalization and the rituals. Rest all is the same. Pre-marital sex exists in dating and other kinds of relationships just as well. And if a couple wanted that only, umm, they could just get a hotel room booked😅. Why would they wanna stay together in same house if the relationship is not serious or not have plan to marry in future?

New types of relationship will come up with time. Casual relationship, friends with benefits, open relationships and so many others. And so does come live-in relationships. We want relationship like Kavya and Dhruv from Little Things, but do we let our couples peacefully have it? In many parts of India, apartments and bungalows are not given to live-in couple for rent, abused and even honour killing is done if they plan to do it.

'But this kinds of relationships mostly break apart soon'. So does marriage. Marriage has no guarantee that it gonna last happily. There is difference between being actually happy in a marriage and just trying to reach the silver, golden (and whatever else) jubilees, tolerating each other and trying not to strangle each other to death. And isn't it better that a couple break up in 2 years than get divorced in 2 years? A truck full of wedding, divorce lawyer and possible alimony expenses would be saved as well. The individuals in that relationship can spend those lakhs of money on whatever they like.

Like marriage, live-in relationships has its own pros and cons. If we can accept the cons of marriage, then why not of live-in relationships? Also if we do not have much issues with on-screen portrayal of live-in relationships in movies and web series, then why have issues in real life when couple enters in live-in?

Live-in is legal in India for couples with both partners over 18 years of age. And the other non-legal requirement is that they both are financially independent and financially and mentally stable enough to take care of their own self. So that no one will be dependent and submissive in the relationship; and if need be, can exit the relationship. If a couple is consenually getting into a live-in relationship (or any other kind of relationship) considering all the risks involved and are responsible for their decisions, society and even the family should stop interfering and let them act on their decisions. 

Yes, it is not that a couple will/should directly come in live-in relationship as soon as they enter in a relationship. After dating for 2-3 years or more, the couple can mutually decide to enter or not. And if in case of arranged marriage (courtship period toh waise bhi nahi diya jaata), the couple can have some initial dates and later mutually decide to get into live-in or not for whatever time they want (and family lets them, cause typical Indian family). 

Live-in is a growing reality among the millenials in urban areas and in next some years, will be very common in cities, while marriages would reduce by next few decades. Its high time we stop interfering in other's personal life- stranger, neighbour, friend, colleague, relative or own child. Its your right to choose if you wanna enter this relationship or not, but you have no right to morally police others and negatively judge them for their choices. And yes, we need no judges like this who acquire such a high position with such a low mind.

Hello, I am Ritika Jakhotiya, the blogger behind Ritika Ruminates. I am an English graduate and currently pursuing an M.A. in English. I love reading and writing. Ritika Ruminates (formerly 'Blogging With Ritz') is my personal blog site, where I write about things close to my heart (and mind) and dish out my thoughts on topics that concern me or inspire my creativity. These topics include books, cinema, feminism, social themes/taboos, and travel. Before you leave, please hit the follow button and subscribe to get notified about new blog posts and share the post with others. I also create content (as a reader) on my Instagram @thisisritika_j, where I share book reviews, relatable memes and reels.

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