Ritika Ruminates

Every Indian have heard this lines- " Jab khudke bacchhe hoge tab pata chalega" "Good news kab?" "Woman is incomplete without marriage and children" Parenthood is now equated to being highest achievement in a person's life. From parents to distant relatives who are Eid ka chand, to  vegetable vendors and security guard, everyone starts asking you about the 'good news' once you are married. And when you are unmarried, you are prepared for parenthood from young adult age only. Great Indian mother taunts about " Agar tu ghar ka kaam nahi kar sakti toh baccho ko kaise sambhalegi", we are made to believe that parenthood is a mandatory task to be ticked off in the to-do list of life, more so in a girl's life.  And what if when a person or a couple doesn't want children? They are ridiculed, trolled, judged and socially isolated and are made as embarrassment for parents. Some women are even deserted by their families and have to go th...

 Image source- Monash Impact The recent judgement of Nagpur bench of Bombay High Court has made all people feel more unsafe than what we feel already. It ruled that groping a minor without 'skin to skin contact' isn't sexual assault under POSCO.  Sexual assault is unfortunately very much normalized in our country. All girls and women feel unsafe. I myself know many who have gone through any kind of sexual assault. Pepper sprays, holding keys between fingers, inspecting cars or cabs multiple time before getting in, learning self defense, having to give up short clothes, having to have a male with us to protect us, and the list goes on. Though this is not only experienced by minors, but also adults irrespective of gender. Image source- Twitter @egyptianbeyonce   This ruling will make the matter for girls and women and even boys even more worse. Unfortunately, for minor boys, they cannot even complain or raise their voice as " Boys don't get sexually assau...

Image source- HR Vietnam Since 9th standard (or maybe even before), I have been a lot into tomboyish clothes. Thanks to my bestfriend who introduced me to word tomboy (though I have been that since 5th standard or so), I researched about it like its a thesis, and got introduced to comfortable (and practical) clothing. And since then, there have been no going back. My comfort's rivalry with 'girly' or Indian traditional woman clothes date back since I have been a small child. The pricky and itchiness that comes with it, god, it is uncomfortable (for me, might be comfortable for others)! Tees, shirts and denims became my all time savior and comforter. Shorts were once, but the typical stare, laziness to shave my legs, and Indian mother's " thik se baitha kar", "aur chhote shorts nahi mile?" and  "Log kya kahenge?"  made me have to limit me wearing shorts in public to football shorts only. Expensive & suffocative bras, tops where you won...

Be it violating privacy of Anushka Sharma-Virat Kohli (congratulations to them for the baby) to literally any other couple, we Indians are pretty great at it. Paparazzi to gossip gangs to judgemental mouths, a couple's privacy isn't respected. Some will follow them openly or secretly better than a chameleon, judging their relationship, scaring the newlyweds with "This is it. Ab toh shaadi ho chuki hai" to asking them the Indian standard question (soon after marriage) - "Koi good news?". If we didn't get the privacy to lock our doors in our teenage, let's ruin the privacy of other couples.  I recently read this book by Ravinder Singh named 'This Love That Feels Right'. It speaks about freedom in relationships, emotional support, satisfaction in relationship and extra marital affairs. It also gives message on how we should not judge other's relationships. We will judge a couple if they do not have kid soon after marriage and give unasked ad...

With Masters in Short Hairs with 14/15yrs of experience, I have experienced various judgemental comments about my short hairs. Though I ignore most of times, there have been a few times that I gave a sarcastic reply to shut their mouth up. And trillions of times within my head. So here are a few sarcastic comebacks you can use when someone pass judgemental comments on your short hairs. Though they are similar, but anyways.  1. To that very random uncle/aunty who cannot mind their own lives and pokes their nose in everyone's choices, asks "Why don't you keep long hair?" Comeback: Oh well, I didn't want to keep the length of my hair equal to height of your judgemental nature/toxicity (use whichever word you like). 2. Random person: Your hairs are so short. Short hairs dont suit girls. Girls should have long hairs, and not boy cuts. And Blah Blah Blah Comeback: Yeah, my hairs are short, but not shorter than your mentality though😅😂😎😛 *Awkward silence*  3. Person: ...

Image source- Wikipedia Homophobia Biphobia Transphobia And don't know what all phobias are against people belonging to LGBTQ+ community Homophobia is hate and prejudice against homosexuals. Gays and lesbians. Though we are in 2020 now, part of our society, worldwide, is still stuck on homophobia. Why is it hard for some to accept a same-sex couple who are in that relationship with mutual consent? When it comes to pro-creation, yes, I know that they cannot have a kid of their own (atleast as of now, if technology develops in future, who knows they might be able to?). But parenthood is not everyone's choice. Also if that couple mutually wants kid(s), they can rather adopt a child or way that works for both of them. Though many countries are opening about it, decriminalizing it, and accepting homosexuality, many are still not. Parents disown their homosexual kids (you have failed here as a parent tbh), honour killings take place (even worse), the individual or couple ...

Image source- Dictionary.com Feminism. People have created their own notion and opinions about feminism, suiting their perspectives and their interests. This has made feminism lose its actual meaning. People have started misusing feminism according to their wants. This is the reason people have started hating feminism now a days. And why it has turned into something like an abusive or shaming word now.  What's feminism in true sense? It is equal opportunities, equal independence to take decisions and choices (as long as they are legal and morally right and doesn't harm anyone), and equal fundamental rights. It is respecting those decisions of others. Feminism is equal independence, equal rights to all the genders, equally with what is given to men. Feminism is not above or below men, but equal to it.  Feminism DOESN'T promote misandry or misogyny of any kind, nor even any phobia related to LGBTQ+ community. If you see some so called feminist spreading such hatre...

Image source- Stop Hate UK Social medias were meant to connect with people. Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp etc. But it has been changing into a place of hatred. Why? Often we see a person being unnecessary trolled, abuses, threatened (rape/ acid attack/ murder) just because they post pics in short clothes, celebrating another religion's festivals, sharing pics with their friends or best friends from another gender, or with their partner (rumoured/confirmed).  Wasn't it expected that with coming years, people would get more open minded, more accepting? But where are we heading? Unnecessary cuss words, trolling, threats to life by rape, acid attack or murder. Why are we stooping so low? Someone marries a person from another religion. Abuses, rape and murder threats. Recent example is some manager from Tanishq who is a Muslim woman married to a Hindu guy. Not only inter-faith marriages, it can happen in same faith marriages too. Do that couple need society'...

Image source- Google "A fair skin is attractive and epitome of beauty." "No body hairs, especially on women. Shave/wax them off." "You need make-up to look preety." "Girls and woman should have hourglass figure, looks so hot and attractive".  "Bikini is only for thin girls/women, with no body hair." "Long hairs suits girls better. Be feminine, girl!" "If you wanted to wear boyish clothings, why you were even born as a girl/woman?"  "A perfect jawline is so charming." "A beard makes a man. Grow up a beard, man!"  "Dude, grow 6/8 pack abs. Girls and women will come running behind you." And well, the most popular "Lose weight by this diet, that diet".  The list is endless, I cant even note down all. We all have come across this beauty standards, be it for women or men. This beauty standards has often costed people their sanity, their physical and mental health, and the...

With all this Tanishq ad controversy over inter-faith marriage and 'love jihad', here is my opinions on inter-faith marriages, based on actual facts and practical solutions to make these relationships work too. I know I'm too late (chuck it, procrastination!🤦‍♀️) but let's start anyway. Inter-faith marriages has been and still is taboo in India and not widely unaccepted. Be it on the grounds of religion, caste or language differences (and maybe even nationality altogether!). People do not accept inter-faith marriages as it is 'not our blood', 'blood will get mixed', 'our clan will be polluted' etc. Oh wait, how can I forget the iconic cliché dialogue of parents if their kid proposes for a inter-faith marriage- "log kya kahenge?". Unfortunately, for majority Indian parents (not every parents, but accepting parents are really less in India), what society would say is more important than their child's happiness. ''What if our ...