Ditching the beauty standards

Image source- Google

"A fair skin is attractive and epitome of beauty."

"No body hairs, especially on women. Shave/wax them off."

"You need make-up to look preety."

"Girls and woman should have hourglass figure, looks so hot and attractive". 

"Bikini is only for thin girls/women, with no body hair."

"Long hairs suits girls better. Be feminine, girl!"

"If you wanted to wear boyish clothings, why you were even born as a girl/woman?" 

"A perfect jawline is so charming."

"A beard makes a man. Grow up a beard, man!" 

"Dude, grow 6/8 pack abs. Girls and women will come running behind you."

And well, the most popular "Lose weight by this diet, that diet". 

The list is endless, I cant even note down all.

We all have come across this beauty standards, be it for women or men. This beauty standards has often costed people their sanity, their physical and mental health, and their money. Whole world has gone crazy with these beauty standards. People go crazy to fit into all these beauty standards- they join gyms to lose or gain weight (will buy a yearly membership and attend just one to few days😂), buy loads of make-up and fairness products, go through time-consuming and painful hair removal procedures, will try to have long hairs even if they themselves may not want it or can't maintain long hairs, will go mad to have a beard, etc. The list of beauty standards is possibly endless. And in all these procedures, people lose their mental peace, their money and maybe even physical health.

I don't understand the obsession with fair skin. And the discrimination that comes with skin colour. It was a chance that someone was born with any skin colour- be it white or black. The only way to change your fairness is through surgery. You may try other methods, but it cannot change your skin colour. It may just brighten your skin temporarily, but with additional harm on your skin. Whatever skin colour you have, it is beautiful. Embrace it. Try loving it. Do not try to change your skin colour, it is just not worth it. And NEVER discriminate someone on their skin colour. It is just a chance that we are born with skin colour we have.

The society controls the body hairs, especially on women. We are asked to look like new born babies to be honest. I know its quite soft and silky, but that hair removal procedure pain- Ouch! (Can't this procedure come without any pains, bumps, cuts at blink of an eye). Once you hit puberty, body hairs are natural. Do not succumb to these unrealistic beauty standards. Shave, trim or wax if you yourself want it. Do it only for yourself if you really wish to. If you don't want to, it is equally beautiful and fine. I myself do it once in a blue moon, if I am bored or in mood to do so, just for myself. Flaunt yourself in bikini/monokini (or any piece/pieces of clothing) with or without body hairs. But whatever, do it only if you wish to. Don't do it for others, the pain is just not worth it. 

Make-up was maybe initially made for models and actresses for their professional life, i dont know. A mere guess. But whatever, make-up just highlights and all. In the end, it is your confidence (how you carry yourself) which will make you look beautiful, sexy or whatever. Do make-up if you really want to do it, my your mood or your own choice. Do not do it for others. Cause whatever you do, people gonna judge anyways. Save up that money on make-up products and invest it in travel, upgrading your skills, or whatever. See, you will need basic skin and hair care products obviously- shampoo, conditioner, facewash (according to your requirements), hair serum. But other make-up products is optional. Do it if you really want it or chuck it. And maybe, make-up products do have some side effects on skin on long run too. About pimples, I know they are annoying. Use a simple pimple clearing facewash for that. There is not much we can do anyways. It will come and go itself.

Oh man! How people say you what to wear and not what to wear. That is just annoying. Wear what you want to, but also be known which place you are going to wear it. If its any religious place, maybe any casual will do (if that religion allows it) if not religious clothing. Wear bikini/monokini and swimwear on beaches if you want to (though you will need to mentally prepare yourselves to ignore all the stares and mean comments or face if it gets too much, especially if you are in orthodox country). Cover yourselves in layers of clothes on hills if you want to. Go out in any casual clothes if you want to. But whatever it is, be comfortable in what you wear. You have to be comfortable with what you wear. If other's ego is hurt, that's not your responsibility (that person needs to ditch their fragile ego). 

Oh, why every girl or women are supposed to have long hairs? I have come across this a lot. Having a boy cut or pixie cut since 14-15yrs of 19yrs of my existence, this statement has just made me annoyed. If one likes short hairs or can't maintain long hairs, it's their choice to keep whatever length of hairs they want to. You just can't impress anyone. The only person you need to satisfy in all these beauty things is yourself. 

Image source- Google

Now, being a tomboy, I love wearing boyish clothes. They feel more comfortable. And by the way, how it is in my control to be born as a boy or girl? I have seen some guys (in movies, yet to meet in person) who likes to wear female clothes (now do not confuse them with being gay) and maybe apply make-up. Let any person wear whatever they want to. Wear whatever you like, people gonna judge anyway. So chill and wear what you want.

What makes a man is his mannerisms, being respectful to others, him being gentle. Some people like beard, some don't. Beard is just optional thing in looks. Can society stop calling guys/men who don't have beard as a baby and...well you know what. Let them have clean shave or beard look. Its their choice.

Guys, do not have to grind yourself in gym to gain 6/8 pack abs. If you yourself want it, go ahead. If not, just let it go. Attraction is small thing, it can go away. What needed is right mannerisms, open mindedness and a loving heart to have a girl by your side to love you and support you. So chill.

And now, the most clichéd, lose weight or gain weight. If a person is in ideal weight (according to BMI), their weight is not affecting their health and day-to-day activities in any way, society is no one to preach them to lose ot gain weight. If it is affecting health, that person should consult a doctor (maybe a dietician) and work it out to achieve what is needed. Society must giving them unnecessary ideas to lose or gain weight. Its literally annoying. Major example of this is Tahira Kashyap Khurrana. She has mentioned how going crazy behind weight loss has affected her health in her latest book 'The 12 Commandments Of Being A Woman'. Do give it read for a real life example of how trying to achieve unrealistic weight loss/gain can affect your physical and mental health.

What if we wanna impress our crush? Well, looks are not everything. Every person has different definitions of what they find attractive. If you fit into that (do not force yourself to fit into it), a great chance. If not, it's ok. What you need to have is open mindedness, right mannerisms and a loving heart. If they accept, great. If they don't, have your self-respect (not ego) and let it go. Hard now, but better in long run. Same goes for partner.

Now if you wish to do all this or not, do it with your own choice. Not for anyone else- partner, crush, society, or anyone. Lemme tell you, it's just liberating to live your life your way without caring for the society, atleast in this manner and your dreams (if they are legal and not in immoral ways😅). You are not born to impress anyone, but yourself. You are not responsible if someone's ego is hurt by how you look or what you wear (just see it in religious institutions). People gonna judge, you be carefree. Do not let others judgements affect you and do not judge others for their choices. Let us all be accepting. Be non-judgemental, ditch double-standards and not discriminate others on any basis. Peace.