Ritika Ruminates

Image source- Manubhai Jewellers Recently, I came across a Instagram story by  Saadhana KM  about toe rings, and when I went through her profile, I found various posts and stories explaining how sexist the culture and expectations are. And I couldn't agree enough to how sexist and controlling the practice of expecting women to wear several accessories and sacred threads all her life is.  This was the story- Image source- Saadhana KM In Hindu rituals, a woman has to wear five signs of marital status – the Mangalsutra, toe rings, Kumkum, bangles and a nose ring. Of these five, Mangalsutra is the most important. In India, Hindu married women wear it as an auspicious thread of goodwill and love. The  Hindu culture also believes that a woman wearing a Mangalsutra, should never part with it until her husband’s death. And if the thread of the Mangalsutra breaks for some reason, it is considered to be a bad omen. Worn as a symbol of marital status, it...

Image source- floweraura.com After  Punjab and Haryana High Court dismissed petition by runaway couple for protection stating live-in is morally and socially unacceptable , the question comes up - even though live-in relationships is legal in India, why is it looked down upon morally and socially in society?  With new era, comes new trends. How romantic relationships works, also changes. Earlier it was male dominance in the relationship, but now there is gender equality in  modern-day relationships . The institution of marriage which was very much patriarchal earlier is now slowly changing into feminist among open-minded modern couples. Live-in is a growing relationship choice among modern couples. Looked at as trial for marriage to test the compatibility under the same roof or just wanting to stay together in serious relationship. Most couples do wish to get married after live-in relationship and look at live-in as compatibility test, because living together lets you kno...

Image source- Wikipedia I do not write reviews on my blog about books or films, but this movie has intrigued me to. The Great Indian Kitchen is a Malayalam movie on Amazon Prime Video which very well depicts the patriarchy in Indian households.  Though the movie is in Malayalam language, subtitles are available in English for people who cannot understand Malayalam language. Set in a South Indian town or rural area, it shows the male privilege prevelant in the the small towns and villages in India (also in metropolitan cities). The female lead character, an educated woman and dancer, raised in Bahrain, is married to a guy in a regressive family. The movie shows her struggle of fitting in to a family where she doesn't belong in the first place. The instances in movie like expecting the girl to hand the toothbrush to her father-in-law, make rice in firewood, having to manually clean one person's clothes seperately, etc She is also expected to clean up the mess at the...

Image source- time.com Some days ago, I came across the question on Quora - 'What is legal but feels illegal in India?'. The thing that came to my mind as an answer was- abortion. If you have had a traumatic history of abortion or simply against the idea of it because of your blind beliefs irrespective of facts, you can simply stop reading here only. Abortion is considered as a sin in India and across many religions and countries. Where  parenthood  is considered as the main task to tick off in life's to-do list, on the other hand, abortion is not considered as a option and a choice. But why is abortion considered in a bad light? I now wonder, in my first year of  college, that though we had been taught about reproduction in biology in our school, why were we never taught anything related to abortion? Not everyone wants to have a child, or a pregnancy can be result of sexual abuse as well. If they can mention reproduction, so why not abortion? I will write dow...

Image credits- VectorStock In the wake of the inhuman Delhi incident of man stabbing his wife to death because she wanted to continue her job, the question comes up- why are women asked to choose between our family and our career? It's a woman's decision to choose between being only a home-maker and a professionally working woman. Neither must anyone force the decision on her and nor should she take the decision under any pressure. Why are women asked to choose between her career and handling the house? Why have we conditioned ourselves as society to believe that the woman's primary work is handling the house and children; and that man's primary role is to be the breadwinner of the house. Girls taught from their childhood to perfect the gol roti and are asked to adjust, always. Sehna padega (translation- have to tolerate) is the phrase every Asian girl has heard while growing up. But why? Imparting the societal norms and gender stereotypes of woman working a...

Image source- PICTUREQUOTES.com Apart from the six fundamental freedom given to us by the Indian law (or any other country you live in), which does give us various freedoms and rights to execute our life the way we wish to, but many of it comes to halt by a single thing- log kya kahenge. Or if you do not care, then the desi parents will hold you back as they are scared of chaar logon ki baat. The best kind of freedom we can gift to ourselves is freedom from the opinions and judgements of others. No matter how good you are, you will always be a villian in someone else's life. You will be trolled, mocked, judged and would be the target of others pulling you down. Applies to men as well Image source: Pinterest Freedom from the weight of judgements and opinions is the best weight loss you can give to your mind. Be it them judging your thoughts, mentality (as long as you are not narrow-minded) or your visual appearance, you can never satisfy everybody. Society just wants you...

Image source- GQ India Today, many teenagers and young adults prefer not to get married in the future, more common among girls. This includes me as well. Be it patriarchy, inequality, failing relationships, media's portrayal of an irrealistic 'perfect' relationship, rising divorce cases, etc. Or if they decide to get married, they prefer to choose their spouse themselves rather than depending much on arranged marriage system and neighbourhood Seema aunties. Though media does depict impossibly 'perfect' relationship, many relationship coaches have come up too and ideal couples who have had (and still having) a successful relationship/marriage and has been giving advice and tips.  Some novels do give us lessons on ideal relationships which can be followed in real life. This also sets our standards up so that we do not settle for anything less than we deserve. Some basic expectations, some advises and some tips to make a relationship work. But often, we would be teased...

Image source- Beerbiceps The reading habit in people is slowly going away. They miss out on so much. Either they were into reading and stopped due to some reason, or never into it. 1-1½-year-old babies nowadays have their hands on smartphones and games first rather than books.  Either you want to start reading or resume your reading habit, and maybe you have a kid and make them read as well, here are some suggestions. Many people rather would plunk into a sofa, binge watch movies/series all day (no judgements) and say they don't have time to read.  Unasked pro tip (if you don't wanna get a look of disgust, annoyance and judgement)- Never ever say that book's movie adaptation is better than the book in front of a book lover. Just never. Period. Image source- thebookoholics For yourself:- Start small - Start slowly. Maybe just read a chapter a day (if it is not too long). Maybe start with around 15-20 pages a day. Or set aside 20mins for reading daily....

Image source: Revel and Riot While I was talking to my family, Ayushmann and Jitendra's 'Shubh Mangal Zyaada Savdhaan' topic came up and one of my parents called it (the film as well as homosexuality) baseless. The film made to educate the public about homosexuality itself was called baseless. This is the unfortunate truth of the majority of the Indian population. It is unfortunate that its 2021 and we still have homophobia and biphobia in our country. Though these phobias exist all around the world, it exists more in India and countries like India where there is no sex education that isn't inclusive of LGBTQ+. The Bollywood movies (except SNMZ) stereotype gays as someone who wears 'girly' clothes, apply make-up, and all. It might be true for some, but not all. The character of Karan Mehra from Made In Heaven has also depicted character of a gay without the general stereotypes. Phobias like this stem from a lack of knowledge about unknown things. Homosexuality...

Image source- Times Of India Woman. A ever-strong species. A homo sapien who is complete by herself. Words fall short to describe it. On this woman's day, here is my message to all the girls and ladies. Be yourself. Live your life your way. Take your own decisions which makes you happy and take responsibility of it too. Be carefree of the society's judgements. The person who will be with you always is you. So give yourself loads of self-love.  Do not take any decision under force. Wear (or not) whatever you wish to, be financially independent or a home-maker (just let the groom know before getting married, if you CHOOSE to marry), with make-up or without make-up, being a virgin till marriage or not, to choose to be a mother or not, carrying the pregnancy till term or aborting it (as long as it isn't gender biased), travelling the world or cozing out at home, and so many other things! Do not let societal and familial expectations rule your life. You have the powe...