Ritika Ruminates

Image credits- VectorStock In the wake of the inhuman Delhi incident of man stabbing his wife to death because she wanted to continue her job, the question comes up- why are women asked to choose between our family and our career? It's a woman's decision to choose between being only a home-maker and a professionally working woman. Neither must anyone force the decision on her and nor should she take the decision under any pressure. Why are women asked to choose between her career and handling the house? Why have we conditioned ourselves as society to believe that the woman's primary work is handling the house and children; and that man's primary role is to be the breadwinner of the house. Girls taught from their childhood to perfect the gol roti and are asked to adjust, always. Sehna padega (translation- have to tolerate) is the phrase every Asian girl has heard while growing up. But why? Imparting the societal norms and gender stereotypes of woman working a...

Image source- PICTUREQUOTES.com Apart from the six fundamental freedom given to us by the Indian law (or any other country you live in), which does give us various freedoms and rights to execute our life the way we wish to, but many of it comes to halt by a single thing- log kya kahenge. Or if you do not care, then the desi parents will hold you back as they are scared of chaar logon ki baat. The best kind of freedom we can gift to ourselves is freedom from the opinions and judgements of others. No matter how good you are, you will always be a villian in someone else's life. You will be trolled, mocked, judged and would be the target of others pulling you down. Applies to men as well Image source: Pinterest Freedom from the weight of judgements and opinions is the best weight loss you can give to your mind. Be it them judging your thoughts, mentality (as long as you are not narrow-minded) or your visual appearance, you can never satisfy everybody. Society just wants you...

Image source- GQ India Today, many teenagers and young adults prefer not to get married in the future, more common among girls. This includes me as well. Be it patriarchy, inequality, failing relationships, media's portrayal of an irrealistic 'perfect' relationship, rising divorce cases, etc. Or if they decide to get married, they prefer to choose their spouse themselves rather than depending much on arranged marriage system and neighbourhood Seema aunties. Though media does depict impossibly 'perfect' relationship, many relationship coaches have come up too and ideal couples who have had (and still having) a successful relationship/marriage and has been giving advice and tips.  Some novels do give us lessons on ideal relationships which can be followed in real life. This also sets our standards up so that we do not settle for anything less than we deserve. Some basic expectations, some advises and some tips to make a relationship work. But often, we would be teased...

Image source- Beerbiceps The reading habit in people is slowly going away. They miss out on so much. Either they were into reading and stopped due to some reason, or never into it. 1-1½-year-old babies nowadays have their hands on smartphones and games first rather than books.  Either you want to start reading or resume your reading habit, and maybe you have a kid and make them read as well, here are some suggestions. Many people rather would plunk into a sofa, binge watch movies/series all day (no judgements) and say they don't have time to read.  Unasked pro tip (if you don't wanna get a look of disgust, annoyance and judgement)- Never ever say that book's movie adaptation is better than the book in front of a book lover. Just never. Period. Image source- thebookoholics For yourself:- Start small - Start slowly. Maybe just read a chapter a day (if it is not too long). Maybe start with around 15-20 pages a day. Or set aside 20mins for reading daily....

Image source: Revel and Riot While I was talking to my family, Ayushmann and Jitendra's 'Shubh Mangal Zyaada Savdhaan' topic came up and one of my parents called it (the film as well as homosexuality) baseless. The film made to educate the public about homosexuality itself was called baseless. This is the unfortunate truth of the majority of the Indian population. It is unfortunate that its 2021 and we still have homophobia and biphobia in our country. Though these phobias exist all around the world, it exists more in India and countries like India where there is no sex education that isn't inclusive of LGBTQ+. The Bollywood movies (except SNMZ) stereotype gays as someone who wears 'girly' clothes, apply make-up, and all. It might be true for some, but not all. The character of Karan Mehra from Made In Heaven has also depicted character of a gay without the general stereotypes. Phobias like this stem from a lack of knowledge about unknown things. Homosexuality...

Image source- Times Of India Woman. A ever-strong species. A homo sapien who is complete by herself. Words fall short to describe it. On this woman's day, here is my message to all the girls and ladies. Be yourself. Live your life your way. Take your own decisions which makes you happy and take responsibility of it too. Be carefree of the society's judgements. The person who will be with you always is you. So give yourself loads of self-love.  Do not take any decision under force. Wear (or not) whatever you wish to, be financially independent or a home-maker (just let the groom know before getting married, if you CHOOSE to marry), with make-up or without make-up, being a virgin till marriage or not, to choose to be a mother or not, carrying the pregnancy till term or aborting it (as long as it isn't gender biased), travelling the world or cozing out at home, and so many other things! Do not let societal and familial expectations rule your life. You have the powe...

Place: Nagaon beach Clicked by: Ritz (myself) Online classes have turned out to be boring. Though having our own 'pawri ho rahi hai' moment by turning off the camera and mic and sleeping, I (and all of us) needed a real break. So for the beach bum I am, Alibaug seemed the right option. So here I was, along with my cousins (family get-together), for a vacation. The morning ferry ride from Gateway of India to Mandwa jetty promises to give you Insta worthy photos (as long as you have good photography skills😅). Place: On the ferry ride near Mumbai Clicked by: Ritz (myself) Place: On the ferry ride Clicked by: Aastha Jakhotiya (my sister) If you are a bird lover, you can also give chips and biscuits to the birds near the Gateway of India on your ferry ride.  Touching down at Alibaug after the 1-1½hr ferry ride, you can either check-in into your hotel/rented villa or head straight for the beach. We opted for a magic ride (vehicle in Alibaug that looks like au...

Every Indian have heard this lines- " Jab khudke bacchhe hoge tab pata chalega" "Good news kab?" "Woman is incomplete without marriage and children" Parenthood is now equated to being highest achievement in a person's life. From parents to distant relatives who are Eid ka chand, to  vegetable vendors and security guard, everyone starts asking you about the 'good news' once you are married. And when you are unmarried, you are prepared for parenthood from young adult age only. Great Indian mother taunts about " Agar tu ghar ka kaam nahi kar sakti toh baccho ko kaise sambhalegi", we are made to believe that parenthood is a mandatory task to be ticked off in the to-do list of life, more so in a girl's life.  And what if when a person or a couple doesn't want children? They are ridiculed, trolled, judged and socially isolated and are made as embarrassment for parents. Some women are even deserted by their families and have to go th...

 Image source- Monash Impact The recent judgement of Nagpur bench of Bombay High Court has made all people feel more unsafe than what we feel already. It ruled that groping a minor without 'skin to skin contact' isn't sexual assault under POSCO.  Sexual assault is unfortunately very much normalized in our country. All girls and women feel unsafe. I myself know many who have gone through any kind of sexual assault. Pepper sprays, holding keys between fingers, inspecting cars or cabs multiple time before getting in, learning self defense, having to give up short clothes, having to have a male with us to protect us, and the list goes on. Though this is not only experienced by minors, but also adults irrespective of gender. Image source- Twitter @egyptianbeyonce   This ruling will make the matter for girls and women and even boys even more worse. Unfortunately, for minor boys, they cannot even complain or raise their voice as " Boys don't get sexually assau...

Image source- HR Vietnam Since 9th standard (or maybe even before), I have been a lot into tomboyish clothes. Thanks to my bestfriend who introduced me to word tomboy (though I have been that since 5th standard or so), I researched about it like its a thesis, and got introduced to comfortable (and practical) clothing. And since then, there have been no going back. My comfort's rivalry with 'girly' or Indian traditional woman clothes date back since I have been a small child. The pricky and itchiness that comes with it, god, it is uncomfortable (for me, might be comfortable for others)! Tees, shirts and denims became my all time savior and comforter. Shorts were once, but the typical stare, laziness to shave my legs, and Indian mother's " thik se baitha kar", "aur chhote shorts nahi mile?" and  "Log kya kahenge?"  made me have to limit me wearing shorts in public to football shorts only. Expensive & suffocative bras, tops where you won...