Bullying: Mental effects on victim, my anecdote dealing with it and how to prevent it.

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I was reading Tahira Kashyap Khurrana's book 'The 7 Sins Of Being A Mother' and the chapter of Submission, which deals with her anecdote of facing bullying as a child. That inspired me to write this blogpost to share about my anecdote of having to deal with bullying as well, something that I had hardly ever spoken about.

 Bullying has long existed in schools, colleges and sometimes even in workplaces (some people never really grow up). Bullying in childhood can have mental and emotional effects on the victim, well into their adulthood. Sometimes the childhood bullying can even turn into physical and/or sexual abuse based on physical appearance, mental health issues, race, ethnicity, religion, caste, family background, gender, sexual preferences, origin, physical disability, etc.

Some of the effects of bullying on the victims are:

• Difficulty trusting one's own self and others, leading to having issues making friends, romantic partners and other relationships, which can extend well into adulthood.
• These issues make eating, sleeping, working, exercising and engaging in interesting hobbies – all the hallmarks of a full, balanced life – more difficult.
• Bodily damage heals readily, the victim’s self-image may be permanently impaired.
• Victims can feel lonely.
• Depression.
• Anxiety.
• Self-esteem issues.
• Suicidal thoughts/attempts.

There are way many side effects of bullying on a victim.

Majority of successful and famous people I know have faced bullying at one point of their life, on any factor known or unknown.

My personal anecdote:

I was born with by-birth hypothyroidism. That meant that my thyroid gland was either absent or poorly developed, and swelled up. And as thyroid gland is located near larynx/vocal cords, it affected my speech. I had and still have comparatively hoarse voice than other girls, and I get vocal fatigue. And as my development was late, I have issues in speaking. I have stammering because of vocal fatigue (cannot speak continuously for long; small breaks are needed in between, leading to stammering) and some slurred speech. This is something that I will have to deal with all my life.

When I was admitted in school, I was bullied for this. As well as other reasons like being a tomboy and other things I don't even know. I had been bullied for something I couldn't even control for almost 12 years of my life. 

This bullying made me nervous. I lost all my confidence when it came to speaking infront of people, be it even one-on-one. My stammering became worse due to lack of confidence. I started avoiding speaking to people. Started isolating myself in school all throughout my 10th std. I would be really scared to say anything infront of public, so I hardly ever participated in any talks. I disliked, and sometimes even hated, going to school. I was always an introvert, but the bullying made me way more introvert as it would have supposed to be. I was that kid in the corner bench. I had (and still have) trust issues. Its hard for me to trust anyone and make friends. 

How to prevent bullying: 

Parents are the major influences on children. It is the parents who can teach their children from young age of 3/4 to be more empathetic and non-judgmental towards others, no matter who ever the person is. Its also important to teach kids to not inflict the bully they themselves might have faced. I had came across this beautiful video on Instagram a year back, where mother teach her child about bullying with example of a crumbling a paper.

And while parents teach their children to be empathetic and non-judgmental to other people irrespective of any factor, it is also important that parents keep the communication lines open. So the children can talk to their parents about how they feel and report about any kind of bullying or abuse they might face (hope no one goes through it). Both of this is a work in progress, well into the late teenage of the child.

And along with parents, its also responsibility of teachers and achool/college authorities and workplace leaders to support the victims and stop any kind of bullying observed/reported.

I wish that no next generation has to go through any kind of bullying.